So this duck walks into a bar

So I had another completely insane, crazy, sexual, drunken night last night... Just lemme know if these posts are getting redundant.

So I started drinking at like 6 and was thoroughly sloshed by 8. But nobody else was! Then what happened... oh god my memory fails me... OH Then everybody else got drunk, and me and my boyfriend just quietly left the conversation to go drive to some deserted road to park and have sex. Which we did. Then we went back and everybody was getting *really* drunk now. Somehow I took off my shirt, and then this other drunk girl took off her shirt and we started making out, and then we went into the woods to go fuck. I'm so glad I had lesbian sex- I LOVE penis, but sometimes you just have to fuck girls. So we did that for a while, and then my boyfriend and her boyfriend came to break up the party, because my ex-boyfriend's mom was all pissy and telling everybody at the house to leave. So before we all left, we decided to go to this other kid's house. I'll just call the other kid "Lame Rich Kid", or LRK. Because it's sooo easy to remember... But yeah, so before me and the boy went there, we went and fucked for like an hour and a half, so that by the time we got to LRK's house, everybody had left. We were all confused and stuff, so we went back to my ex-boyfriend's house to find him fucking FLIPPING OUT. We were sitting inside with him while he was throwing carrot cake (yes, it was iced...) all around the whole fucking house, then we suggested that he go drink anti-freeze, so he went outside. Finally, we breathed... but not for long. CLICK the lights went out... the fucker hit the fuse box... so we go outside and find him trying to start his mother's car... douche bag that he is. BWFSCN tried to get the fuse for a while, and I walked down the drive way (in BARE FEET and I got GLASS stuck in my left foot) and dragged the little bitch out of the car. He's at least 80 lbs. heavier than me, and I fucking carried him up twelve stairs and into his room. He fought me, but I've been lifting weights, so I was actually a pretty good match for him, even though he was like twisting my arms like a third grader. It was retarded. So I get him in bed, and then I go back out to find BWFSCN, who's just about given up on the fuse box. So we sit for a little while, because I was scared out of my mind and shaking like crazy... but then my ex-boyfriend comes back out (and after I spent all that time putting the bastard to bed.), and starts throwing shit and going crazy. So me and the boy left and went and slept in a meadow again.


UGH

SC (As if I have to sign this... who else would have such a fucked up story to tell?)