15 Things for which you will heart me, because I rule
I wasn’t planning on doing this, at least not for a while, but being under house arrest for attempted genocide can make a girl do crazy things.
1. I want to name my first-born “Wham!” With the exclamation point. The exclamation point is vital.
2. I lie a loooot.
3. Seriously. Like, for no reason, I’ll lie in conversations with random people that I’ll never see again. It’s fun. #1 isn't a lie, though.
4. There have been times where I’ve felt a strong urge to beat up my mother.
5. I only indulged that urge once, so yay for self-control!
6. I would totally have sex with Stephen Colbert.
7. I hate feeling sorry for people I know, so I try to avoid either certain types of conversations, or certain people.
8. I once pissed on somebody’s chest during sex.
9. I got paid more for that act alone than I have for almost any other sexual favor that I’ve performed.
10. I hate dramas, action films, essentially anything besides comedy. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do.
11. I’ve been in three car accidents. One was all my fault, one was half my fault, and one was completely not my fault. I’ve never copped to my share of the blame in the halfway one, but my mother thinks they were all my fault anyways.
12. I love watching poker tournaments.
13. I went through a period where I believed I was asexual. I realize now that it wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in any guys as much as I wasn’t interested in any guys that were around. And completely unrelated to this, so unrelated that I’m putting it in the same number, there are so many cute guys at home. Even the middle-aged men are hotter, on average, than the guys at my college.
14. I have a thing for older men. Older, usually married men. That’s probably not going to turn out well.
15. I used to be a crackwhore. Unfortunately, I did not have a crack pimp, and had to leave the business. Being a crackwhore without a crack pimp is like being an actress in Hollywood without an agent-success is not going to come on your tits.
16. I meant come knocking on your door!
17. Numbers are SC's thing, not mine, so back the fuck off. 15, 17, it's all the same in my mind.
-G
1. I want to name my first-born “Wham!” With the exclamation point. The exclamation point is vital.
2. I lie a loooot.
3. Seriously. Like, for no reason, I’ll lie in conversations with random people that I’ll never see again. It’s fun. #1 isn't a lie, though.
4. There have been times where I’ve felt a strong urge to beat up my mother.
5. I only indulged that urge once, so yay for self-control!
6. I would totally have sex with Stephen Colbert.
7. I hate feeling sorry for people I know, so I try to avoid either certain types of conversations, or certain people.
8. I once pissed on somebody’s chest during sex.
9. I got paid more for that act alone than I have for almost any other sexual favor that I’ve performed.
10. I hate dramas, action films, essentially anything besides comedy. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do.
11. I’ve been in three car accidents. One was all my fault, one was half my fault, and one was completely not my fault. I’ve never copped to my share of the blame in the halfway one, but my mother thinks they were all my fault anyways.
12. I love watching poker tournaments.
13. I went through a period where I believed I was asexual. I realize now that it wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in any guys as much as I wasn’t interested in any guys that were around. And completely unrelated to this, so unrelated that I’m putting it in the same number, there are so many cute guys at home. Even the middle-aged men are hotter, on average, than the guys at my college.
14. I have a thing for older men. Older, usually married men. That’s probably not going to turn out well.
15. I used to be a crackwhore. Unfortunately, I did not have a crack pimp, and had to leave the business. Being a crackwhore without a crack pimp is like being an actress in Hollywood without an agent-success is not going to come on your tits.
16. I meant come knocking on your door!
17. Numbers are SC's thing, not mine, so back the fuck off. 15, 17, it's all the same in my mind.
-G
posted by G, S.C. @ 9:09 PM
1 Comments:
At Tuesday, June 21, 2005 9:20:00 PM,
anycollegestudent said…
FIRST COMMENT!!! yesssssss
also, #8? um... yea right V-Club Prez 4 Life
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